A New Way of Thinking

I cannot imagine life without school. Honestly, I do not have a memory without school. I have few memories without college courses. Starting concurrent enrollment the month after I obtained my driver's license, I have been pursuing higher education for seven and a half years. My transcript is pages long and makes the registrar giggle each time she prints it off, seeing as I am currently taking courses at a two-year college. (a typical "graduated" transcript from this school is one-half of one page long) Nevertheless I am proud of my diverse academic interests and thankful I have had the opportunities and means to pursue them.

Perhaps one of the reasons I am compelled to start this blog is to clear my thoughts. As I was studying for my history degree, I felt my soul being fed just by reading my text books. I was surrounded with philosophy, with stories of women who forged their way against authority's rule to be come canonized or fight against men, and win. I reflected on theories, I immersed myself in these heroine tales, my mind was always moving faster than I could write. I loved drawing applications to the present day from events of centuries past. I was privileged, I loved every moment. (save that one terrible oral mid-term. in medieval history).

This is very different from the way I now feel in school, studying the functions of the neural system, chemistry, and primarily MATH make me use an entirely different side of my brain and my brain which does not enjoy coming out of hibernation. This is hard. For the first time in my life I can actually say that school has become very difficult for me, burying myself in my studies doesn't even seem to help things. Regardless of how many times the pharmacist explains the conversion of atoms to moles, moles to molecules, molecules to who knows what I cannot seem to keep it straight. (then there's the fact that the rhesus factor just makes me want a reeses really bad.) This is a strange feeling for me. It is not something beyond my ability I am assured, but these early mornings and late nights are beginning to really add up.

Last night I spoke at a city-wide church event promoing a series that is going to be taught in all the community churches over the next month. Not to appear cocky, but speaking publicly comes so naturally for me. I hate to admit I was not prepared at all. I really had nothing to say when I got to the event because I had spent the entire afternoon reading about stoichiometry, but when I get up to speak, things are natural. I'm in my element...or maybe I just have an unruly attachment to microphones. Things like that make you wonder, question if you are doing the right thing. I just have to trust that my intuition and God's leading have led me to the right place at this point in my life. I am excited to be a nurse, I just have to endure another seven weeks of chemistry hell and a summer of college algebra to get there...not too bad for a rewarding career with endless possibilities. I still have my history degree to cling to, and I am proud to tell people I am a historian. An expert in Hildegard as a matter of fact. I am lucky to be able to study and travel, and I'm excited for the things to come. It just so happens that right now I need out outlet for my words, so I chose to blog.

Well...I'd better get, another medical terminology test awaits me this morning. A morning met without diet coke or McDonalds breakfast...oh how I love lent.

BL